How It All Started

Many of you may be wondering how a couple who have been monogamous and “vanilla”  since they were 17 came into a lifestyle where the woman sleeps with other men and tells her husband about it.

It all started with a friend that I had while in highschool. He has been into me ever since, and I knew it. But still, we were friends, and he happened to have a nice place and a bar in his apartment, so I’d go over to hang out and stay really late drinking after a tough day. My husband knew that this guy was into me, and yet he trusted me and trusted my friend not to do anything without my permission. 

About two years ago, my husband got up the courage to talk to me one night and confessed to me that he wouldn’t mind if I slept with my friend. He said he was worried that since we were each other’s only partners, that I would one day get curious and cheat or leave. 

Now, I was raised Catholic. And when I talk about being Catholic in this situation, I talk less about the faith itself, and more about the guilt that I feel when I do something wrong. I considered cheating, sleeping around, even talking to other guys with a sexual intent to be wrong. To this day I still get a stomach ache when I think too far in advance about using my vibrator.

When my husband told me this, my heart started racing. I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t cheat, even with his permission. What if I liked this guy better afterwards? What if his dick was bigger and my husband could no longer satisfy me? I told my husband I couldn’t do it, and he dropped it for the most part.

But, alas, he had planted the seed of curiosity in my brain. I was just given permission to go and have a 2nd partner. Hmm. Was I lucky? Or put into a terrible situation?

Before long curiosity got the better of me and I wound up sleeping with my friend (I will post a blog about this experience very soon). 

I started chatting with a few people online, flirting heavily, sending dirty pics, cybering, things that I had never done before. I was home alone a lot due to my husband’s busy schedule, and it became a hobby of mine to chat with other men, boost my ego a bit, and have a bit of naughty fun.

I began to want to meet some of these people (or others) in person, to have real experiences, and I told my husband so. He was relieved to finally be able to tell me that his real kink is to be a bit of a voyeur. To be able to enjoy me through other men. To hear about my experiences, to get the details, to SHARE me.

I ended up joining a website that allowed me to connect with others who enjoyed a similar lifestyle to me and my husband, and have since met several different men and have had some fantastic experiences. 

Keep following my blog to get the juicy details.

Yours,

Birdie

About Us

This blog is a device I created to bring my husband and I closer together. We are both busy individuals with demanding work schedules. My husband is a 30-year old doctor and I am a 25-year old kindergarden teacher. 

Earlier this year I fell into a funk which turned into a deep depression. I was not happy with my life despite having a Master’s degree, a great husband and loving family and pets. At 25 years old, I felt I had missed out on a lot of my life by going straight into school, working hard for years, and then working hard at work. I never got the “wild and crazy” out of my system, and before I knew it, I really did feel like a caged bird. A hummingbird because of all the energy I put into thinking about the future, worrying and becoming anxious about parts of my life I couldn’t change. My depression became clinical and my anxiety became a disorder. After a particularly stressful life event, I snapped, and with depression, anxiety and now PTSD (yes, doctor diagnosed), I felt I wasn’t strong enough to continue on with my life. I contemplated suicide.

While thinking about how I was going to end my life, thoughts of what I was missing also inevitable invaded my haze. One of the first things I thought of was how I had only been with one man my entire life. Call me slutty, call me a whore, but I consider it a life experience that I had just plain missed out on.

The sex between my husband and I is amazing, don’t get me wrong, we make each other very happy, and I contribute any and all of my skills between the sheets to our time together. But I wanted more. I wanted to know that there were more men out there besides him who wanted me, who found me attractive, who cherished me and my body in ways my husband didn’t. I found myself wanting it more rough, I wanted to be told what to do.

My hummingbird brain was constantly thinking, darting from one aspect of my life to another, often never finishing one train of thought before flitting to something else. What I craved was to be with someone who could take over the thinking for me, while at the same time making me feel safe and give me the crazy experiences I craved.

After getting help for my various problems, I was suddenly happy again. A very black, very large cloud filled with pits and cavities that hid my fears had suddenly been lifted, nearly as fast as it had clouded my mind.

Feeling so much better, I decided not to waste my new-found love for life and I joined a website for like-minded kinky individuals. This blog is a way for me to express myself, to share my experiences, to inform my husband, and to possibly take some of the stigma and bad juju off of BDSM.

Welcome to my erotic journey.